Rachel's Space...

Week One in Tennessee

2012-01-30T14:24:00.000-05:00

Sunday January 22, 2012~ Day one in Tennessee. Rained. Did a little exploring close to the apartment complex. Found the market, a few parks, and some neat places to have picnics in the spring.

Monday January 23, 2012~ Day two. Rained. Found the Health Department to switch Hunters immunization records over from NC to TN. Not a fan of that place.. Registered Hunter at Blackman Elementary.

Tuesday January 24, 2012~ Day three. Rained. Took Hunter to his first day of school, drove around a little.

Wednesday January 25, 2012~ Day four. Rained. Movers arrived with our belongings, began to unpack and set up the apartment.

Thursday January 26, 2012~ Day five. Rained. finished unpacking all the boxes at the apartment.

Friday January 27, 2012~ Day six. Rained. Cleaned the apartment. Watched Cars 2 at the clubhouse for movie night at the complex.

Saturday January 28, 2012~ Day seven. SUNNY!! Spent the day outside since it didn't rain, we went to the park, walked along the greenway. Explored the town and drove around the country, drove the back roads to JB's office (not doing that again). Took Sammy to the park as well and he swam in the river, he was one happy dog!!

* I did check on the progress of the new house each day when I would take Hunter to school and pick him up.. It is amazing the progress that was made in just a few hours...

New House

2012-01-30T10:38:00.000-05:00

They have made a lot of progress on the house in just the first week of being here. They have completed all the framing, placed the roof on, installed the tubs, showers and have almost completed the plumbing. This week they will begin on the wiring for the house and install the insulation. Next week they will begin to drywall.

Over this past weekend we walked around the house and couldn't believe how quickly it is going up. It was so neat to stand in the kitchen and see where the waterline is for the new fridge before the actual walls are complete. I was actually able to visualize where the furniture will go, where Sammy will take most of his naps, where Sierra will "chill" after school, and where Hunter will play with his Lego's.

The new house isn't a huge house, it is a two story and has 2,200 square feet. It has 4 bedrooms, 2 and a half baths, laundry room, living room, office, and an eat in kitchen as well as a two car garage. They yard is just perfect for us as well.

I can not wait to make that house our home! I can not wait to cook our family meals in the kitchen and to start new traditions and create memories in our new home..

Difficult Decisions....

2012-01-10T17:28:00.000-05:00

So today I have made the hardest decision, I had to decide if it was best for Sierra to stay and finish out the school year or go with us to Tennessee. I decided after talking with Blackman High (the school in Tennessee) that it would be best for her to stay and finish her Junior year at Cary High.

Blackman High is not on a block schedule like Cary High. So the first half of this year Sierra has taken Algebra I, Science, US History and yearbook. So that means she has completed a years worth of each subject in one semester. Next semester she is taking English III, Geometry, Sports Medicine and yearbook. So that means if she transferred to Blackman High should would have missed the entire first half of English III and Geometry and would have put her behind and therefor would have to be in summer school for 8 weeks at 8 hours a day just to catch up. I just couldn't do that to her. We are moving to a new city and I don't want her to spend the entire summer in school. So with her staying she will only need to take English IV and Algebra II next year in order to graduate. She will have 5 elective classes so it should be a pretty easy Senior Year for her.

I will miss her more than words can say and I know I am doing what is best for her by having her stay but it breaks my heart that I won't see her every single day and I won't get to hear about her day when she comes home from school, I won't get to take her lunch to cheer her up when she is feeling down. I won't be able to watch our shows together each week.

I am trying to think of it as a test run for when she leaves for college but it doesn't make it any easier..

Thank goodness for Skype, text and cell phones...

Carolina Friends.....

2012-01-09T18:38:00.000-05:00

In just 12 short days I will be living in Tennessee. I will have said goodbye to my friends, my comfort zone, to a town that I have grown to love. In the 14 years that I have lived in this town I have watched it grow, I have made the best friends, watched my daughter grow up into a beautiful young lady and had my son. I learned more about myself. I learned that I am strong, talented, dedicated, loyal, hard working, and a great friend.

I will miss my friends more than anything when I go. I will miss meeting them for a quick lunch or a long chat over coffee and cocoa. I will miss our families hanging out in the summer. I will miss being here for them if they need me. I will miss being the shoulder to cry on or the person to vent to. I will miss the laughter. I am so thankful for the memories I have created with each and everyone of them. I am so thankful for all that they have taught me. I am never going to find friends anywhere near as wonderful as the ones I have here. I know it will take me a while to even make friends in Tennessee and I am OK with that. Thank goodness for Facebook, email, text messages, phone and skype so that I can stay in touch with my Carolina friends.

I have told my daughter to create memories with her friends at school and to not waste anytime with them, and she has. She has made some wonderful memories with her friends and I couldn't be happier for her. I know she will miss her friends just as much as I will miss mine!!

Tennessee

2011-12-08T13:02:00.002-05:00

We are moving to Tennessee! I can't believe we are leaving North Carolina in January for our new home just outside of Nashville. I have loved living in Cary for the past 14 years. It is a great place to live! I have enjoyed the many road trips I have taken so I can learn about this wonderful state. I have loved going to the beach several times a year with the family. I fell in love with the Ashville in the fall. I have made some of the best friends a girl could ever ask for here. My son was born here, my daughter found her passion for the martial arts here. I will miss this town when I leave next month. I will miss seeing all the trees, I will miss my friends more than anything. I ache knowing I will not be able to meet them for breakfast, or grab a coffee/hot coco on a whim. I will miss not being able to just stop by and say hi or them doing the same. I will miss my wonderful neighbor Ms. Lynn. My son calls her his other Grandma. He has known her his entire life, she has never missed his birthday, she has always treated him as one of her own grandchildren. There is so much I will miss, but there is so much to look forward to. I look forward to my children going to better schools that are walking distance from the house, the new house that we are having built. Open floor plan, big kitchen, twice the size of our house now. I am looking forward to making new friends and watching my daughter graduate next year, my son growing up and making new friends. I am looking forward to the future. I am looking forward to spending time with my family as we learn and explore our new town. I can't wait to move into our new home and making it a home. So even though I am sad to leave North Carolina I am excited to move to Tennessee.

Paris

2011-08-19T15:01:00.001-04:00

In two weeks I will be on a plane meeting my husband in Paris. He came home from work this week and told me he had to take another business trip in a couple of weeks. I asked if he was going to Brno again and he said he was then he got this look on his face like I don't want to tell you where I am going after that, so I told him he better not be going back to Amsterdam without me, he laughed and said he wasn't, then I said you better not being going to Paris without me. Dead silence... not a single word was said... I told him that since he was going to Paris without me I wanted my birthday present early, I told him he couldn't go unless I had my kindle next week, he laughed and said ok. Then I went off to kickboxing class, when I got home he asked if I wanted to meet him in Paris.. I thought he was joking.. I went up to bed and he asked me again if he wanted me to book my flight to meet him, I told him I couldn't go and to stop asking.. He said ok.. Now my reason for saying no at first was because I thought Sierra would have been totally ticked off because once again I was going to Europe and she wasn't. While I was at one of my Coordinators house I told her about my declining JBs offer and she said "No you are going to call him right now and tell him to book that flight. You have to go, you will regret not going." So I did. I am now going to meet my husband in one of the most romantic cities in the world. He has made reservations to have dinner at the Eiffel Tower the first night we are there. I am so excited... I can't wait to experience Paris.... This is one happy girl!!

Hunter

2011-08-15T17:24:00.000-04:00

Hard to believe that next week the kids will be back in school and summer will be over. I have mixed emotions about school starting this year. Happy because I have to answer 500 questions from Hunter all day, seriously that boy will ask me questions ALL day LONG! Hunter " Mom, why is the speed limit 65?" Me " because that is what has been deemed a safe speed to travel on this road." Hunter" Mom, why is it a safe speed and by whose standards is it safe, yours, the troopers, the people who sit behind a desk and make all the laws?" Seriously people those are his questions all though my favorite question he had this summer was " Why do I know so much?" Hmm maybe because you ask so many questions..The other day he was at a birthday party and his friend received some glow in the dark stars you place on the ceiling along with the planets that hang down. Hunter thought it was cool, the other kid not so much. I was listening to a conversation between Hunter and his friend. Hunter was asking the little boy if he knew what an asteroid was, the boy didn't know, Hunter explained what was, then Hunter asked him if he knew what the solar system was again the boy didn't really know so Hunter explained it to him, then Hunter asked him if he knew what a Milky Way was and the boy said, and I kid you not "Yeah it is a candy bar." Hunter response " Dude you're killing me." and walked away.. I love that Hunter is curious and wants to learn so much but I just wish there were not 20 questions to every one original question. I seriously hope that when we meet his teacher next week she is as good as Mrs. McCallister. She was one of the best teachers I have ever met, she set the bar high for all the teachers that follow her. Looking forward to seeing what new things Hunter learns this year and to see how he is challenged. Nothing like a six year old reading at an 8th grade level and knowing some algebra.. oh how I love my Hunter!!

Some of the high points of January...

2011-02-01T19:04:00.000-05:00

January was a great start to the new year...

I interviewed for a different position with The Produce Box two weeks ago and was offered the job of Area Manager for North Cary and Morrisville. I started the season last year as a Neighborhood Coordinator and really loved it but I wanted to be more involved with the company so when I learned they were hiring for Area Managers I put my name in for an interview and boy am I glad I did. I can not wait to start working with an amazing group of women. I am so excited for the season to start.

I also went on my first field trip with my son. His class went to this play and he LOVED it.. I had no idea how they would make The Very Hungry Caterpillar into a play but was very impressed with how they did it. I am looking forward to many more field trips in the future.. My son also got his very first report card and did fabulous! He had 4's with a few 3* . For those of you who do not have children in elementary school those are good marks.. I was very proud of him...

I also went to the NHL All-Star Game with my husband over this past weekend.. I had the BEST time. We sat here

That would be Section 126 Row A seat 8. In my opinion the best in the house for a hockey game. I saw some of my favorite players like Toews, Thomas, Skinner, Staal and Lindstrom. I am so glad JB asked me to go with him. It was a chance of a lifetime and I enjoyed every single minute of it!! 3 Doors Down played during the first intermission and it was amazing, they sounded sooo good!! Clay Aiken sang the National Anthem and did a beautiful job.

Finally I have been trying to lose weight forever, and so far this year I have lost over 20 pounds. I am looking forward to February and the rest of the year!!

Goals

2011-01-07T14:19:00.000-05:00

Goals for the new year....

learn to love myself
be more organized
don't be so shy
be a better primary teacher
do another half marathon
be more crafty
write love letters to my husband
be in the moment with my family

Self Image

2011-01-06T16:33:00.000-05:00

I hate the way I look. I hate that I workout 3-4 times a week and am still fat. I hate that I had cancer and because of said cancer I do not have a Thyroid and therefor I do not have a metabolism. I hate that I use to be skinny and could wear anything I wanted. I hate that I can no longer find cute clothes. I hate that I hate myself and that I can not accept my body the way it is. I hate that I long to be skinny again. I hate that I miss out on life because I don't want to be seen because I am fat. I hate my picture taken so I do not have many photos of the kids and I. I hate that I put value on my weight and not the person that I am.

Friendships

2011-01-05T17:58:00.000-05:00

This past year I decided to rid myself of people who did not influence my life in a positive way. I said goodbye to a friend I have had since my freshman year in high school because I just couldn't handle the constant gossip about the people back home. I didn't care who was cheating on who or with who. I didn't care that so and so was arrested for a DUI, drugs or that so and so is still living in the same town. I then learned that she cheated many times on her husband and three times with her best friends brother. That is pretty much when I said goodbye, you have nothing to bring to this friendship that is meaningful. I thought it would be hard to end the friendship but really it was one of the easiest things I have ever done. I feel good about it actually.

I want friends who I can learn from, have meaningful conversations, who I can talk to about anything and know that it isn't going to turn into gossip. I want friends who want to give back to there community and have values and who support their spouses when times get tough, I want strong women who stand up for what they believe in. I want friends who set amazing examples for their children. I want friends who teach their children that if they want something in life then they have to work hard for it.

I feel I have that now.

Allergies

2011-01-05T13:38:00.000-05:00

After over 30 pricks in the back we learned that my son, Hunter is allergic to nuts, trees, 8 types of grass, dust mites, mold, and cats. I will say that I am glad his doctor didn't say he was allergic to dogs because we would not be a happy family if we had to get rid of our Samsun. Hunter has an Epipen that goes with us everywhere. He is to sit at a special table at lunch time (away from his friends, I think that is just sad) he sits alone at snack time just in case other kids bring in nuts for a snack. He is allergic to peanuts, brazil nuts, cashews,almonds, pistachios (those can kill him if he eats them) and peacans, those will just make him uncomfortable according to the doctor. My house is now a nut free zone. No peanutbutter, no pistachios (my favorite snack of all time) nothing. I must read every lable when I go to the market to make sure nothing he eats will have those nuts in it.

some changes in the house

2010-09-13T09:16:00.000-04:00

New Camera

2010-09-10T12:21:00.000-04:00

Last weekend I was able to go by my new camera. I have taken my time researching different cameras and I found the one I love. I purchased the Nikon D5000 and was able to get two extra lenses, 3 filters, camera bag, 20 lessons and free prints for a year for less than $1,000.. I have taken a few photos with it so far and am totally in love with it. I am glad I took my time doing research so I could get just the right one for me. It was a toss up between the Nikon D90 or the one I purchased. I felt the D90 was just too much for me, I didn't think I would really need everything it had to offer since I am just starting out. Once I become more familiar with my camera I will be doing a photo blog or something along those lines..

Things I am Thankful For

2010-08-29T22:52:00.000-04:00

Here are just a few of the things I am thankful for.....

My Husband ~who shows me everyday how much he loves me
My Beautiful Daughter ~ who has a heart of gold
My Handsome Son ~ who makes me laugh everyday
My Parents ~ For everything they have taught me, I miss them terribly.
My Brother ~ For being the best big brother a sister could ask for, who is always there when I need him
Fabulous Friends ~ For being such amazing examples in life, you are strong women who I admire and love
A House to call Home
To be able to attend church
Heavenly Father
Jesus
The Holy Ghost

2010-07-13T09:43:00.000-04:00

The other day something was brought to my attention that I never really thought about. I had my daughter when I was 20. It was my choice to start my family when I was young. I never thought that I missed out on my life because of it. I just felt that this was the choice I made, this is what I wanted and I didn't regret it. I am glad that I had my daughter when I was young. We are close, we are best friends, we talk about anything and everything. When she was first born she slept in my bed with me, I couldn't sleep with her in another room. I had to hear her breathing. It gave me such peace to hear that and to touch her. Everyone thought it was a bad idea for her to sleep with us in the same bed but I disagreed. I am glad I had her sleep with me the first 6 months the foundation for our relationship was formed. When my son was born I had him sleep in the same room with me for the first few weeks but something was off, I didn't feel the bond with him, I felt like he was not mine, no closeness so I tried having him sleep in bed with me and after the first night we both slept better, I started feeling the bond that a mother should have with her child. My husband hated having the children in the same bed with us, he didn't sleep well at all, always thinking something would happen to them but I on the other hand slept great and so did they. Hunter starting sleeping through the night at 3 weeks, Sierra at a month. I know that this may not work for everyone but as a parent you learn to do what works for you and your children. My daughter is now 16 and my son is 5. My daughter and I still have "camp outs" in the living room we stay up late watch movies share popcorn and catch up and I sometimes sleep with my son when he asks. I wouldn't trade anything for the one on one time I have had with my children. I would never trade staying at home for working outside the home. I am lucky enough that I am able to stay home. I don't judge those who work outside the home we all do what is best for us, we do what works for us. I know my husband could never stay home with the kids, he needs the challenge of working outside the home. I am thankful for my children and have zero regrets..

Camping

2010-07-09T08:14:00.000-04:00

In two weeks we will be heading to the mountains of North Carolina to do some camping. I am so looking forward to time away from the "city life" and just relaxing for a week. I can't wait to go rafting down the river and to take the kayak out again. Do a little hiking as well and just hang out with my family. Sierra will be home and I can't wait to catch up with her after being away from her for almost 8 weeks. I am looking forward to the campfires, smores, playing games at night and just being in the moment with my family. We are turning off the cell phones while we are there so work can't get in touch with John.. I am counting the days...

Duh!

2010-06-29T15:12:00.003-04:00

Two weeks ago I did something so completely stupid! I ran over my leg with my own truck and it crashed into a house. I know lame right.. Well I was out delivering Produce Boxes to members and I thought I put the truck in park, guess what I didn't. I was reaching into the back of the truck to get a box and I noticed the truck start to move.. Well I being the intelligent person that I am thought I could just jump in and put the brake on and all would be fine. WRONG!! I lost my balance while attempting to get in and that is when the back tires of the truck ran over my leg and then proceeded to crash into the garage. Yeah I know pretty lame. I was lucky though I didn't break anything in my leg or foot but I did manage to get some pretty bruises and cuts on the leg and foot. I lost feeling in my toes and have started to get most of the feeling back in them . My doctor said I should regain all feeling once the swelling is completely gone and in 4-6 weeks I should be good as new. All I can say right now is that my foot is killing me. I have taken the pain medication (anyone who knows me knows I don't take anything for pain, not even for a headache) and I am still hurting.. I just wish the pain would stop already. I wish I wasn't such an idiot or in such a hurry to get things done that day... I am thankful though that Hunter wasn't in the truck when it happened.

Sweet 16

2010-06-03T11:53:00.002-04:00

Yes my daughter has turned 16! I can't believe how the time has flown by. She is an amazing young woman who I admire. I remember when we brought her home from the hospital and didn't know what the heck to do and wanting to do nothing but hold her in my arms and protect her from the world. I remember when she was learning to walk how she would smile when taking those first steps, or reading bedtime stories to her. I remember all of it like it was yesterday. She is now driving, dating, and preparing for life when she moves out. She is thinking about colleges and what she wants to do when she graduates. She is thinking about world issues and how she will be able to make a difference. I don't know when it happened but my little girl has grown up. It makes me happy yet sad at the same time. I look at her and think where did my baby go and realize that time doesn't stand still and that we should all take time and be in the moment with our children because they don't stay little forever they grow up and turn into amazing young adults and make us proud.. Oh how I love my sweet Sierra Nicole...

Have you ever?

2010-05-13T14:31:00.006-04:00

Have you ever missed someplace so much you ached? That is me this week. I miss the Netherlands. I miss the people, I miss the architecture, I miss the food, I miss EVERYTHING about it. I can't wait to go back in the spring next year although I am thinking 2 weeks just won't be enough and I may have to extend that trip. I want to live there, I want to say goodbye to the States and live where I was the most happiest. I felt so at home there and I really did not want to leave last year. You know that saying "I left my heart in San Francisco"? Well I left mine in Amsterdam...

Guido and Giuseppe

2010-04-19T11:59:00.002-04:00

Since the passing of Zoltan two weeks ago Hunter has asked if he can get a fish tank. Well this past weekend we did just that. We have started out with two guppies and he has named them Guido and Giuseppe, I have no idea where he came up with the names but I must admit I love those little fish. Yes I said love them. I am not a fish fan but these little guys are so cool. I love their little fins and they are amazingly fast. We will be adding more fish to the tank in a few weeks once it has gone through the new tank cycle and is safe to allow more fish to the tank. Hunter loves his fish as well, it is cute to listen to his giggle as he watches them swim around and around. I didn't think that fish could bring such happiness to a little boy.

The passing of Zoltan

2010-04-08T15:59:00.004-04:00

Zoltan was Hunters very first pet, his very own that he didn't have to share with the rest of the family. He was a cute little black dwarf hamster. Hunter fed him, made sure he had plenty of water and helped to clean his cage each week. We adopted Zoltan, he was with a foster family and we decided that at the age of 3 Hunter was old enough to care for the little guy. For the past few weeks Zoltan hasn't really been himself. He hasn't wanted to run on his wheel or play in his ball and that has made Hunter a little sad to say the least, last night Hunter asked John if he could hold Zoltan but John said no, because he was sleeping still. Hunter begged and begged to hold the little guy but the answer was still no. Well this morning John woke me before he left for work and told me the little guy died. I had the great job of telling Hunter the sad news when he woke up. Let me just tell you I NEVER want to see that sad look on my sons face again. He was devastated, crushed. He asked me several times if we could take it to the pet doctor so they could make him better, then he realized that if his hamster died then that means our family dog Samsun is going to die and he sobbed, Samsun is his best friend in the whole wide world and is a year younger than Hunter but now Hunter is freaked that Samsun is going to die soon. I told him that Samsun is healthy and young so he would have a long happy life and not to worry about Samsun passing anytime soon and to enjoy playing with him everyday. My heart is breaking for my son today. I know it was just a hamster but it was Hunters little buddy. RIP Zoltan...

Hunters first baseball game

2010-04-05T13:49:00.004-04:00

I took Hunter to his first baseball game this past Saturday. We were in DC so I thought it was a good time to take him to a ball game. After a morning of museums and touring the Capital Building we hopped on the metro at 7th street and got off at the Navy Yard. The ball park is a half a block from the metro so it was great. He was excited to see the park, well maybe he was just excited to get that ballpark hot dog and coke. He was so cute, he ordered all by himself and even used his manners which is more than I can say for the majority of the people there, anyway that is another story. After we got his hot dog and coke we found our seats and watched batting practice. If I didn't know any better I would have thought we were at Fenway, I didn't see anybody wearing Nationals hats or shirts. Everywhere I looked I saw Boston Red Sox hats, shirts, sock, fingers, you name it I saw it. As we were sitting there eating Hunter asked me questions about the game, like what happens if the ball is hit on this side of the yellow pole, I told him it was a foul ball, he asked about doubles, triples and how does the guy behind the catcher know if it is a ball or a strike? I was in heaven answering his questions, it was a dream come true after 6 years. From the day I found out I was having a boy I dreamed of taking him to his first major league game and this weekend that dream was fulfilled. The stadium is great, the location is great, the weather was perfect and life was perfect for a few hours. I will never forget my sons first game. Our next game will be August 23, 2010 a few days before he starts school, we are going back to DC to watch the Nationals play the Cubbies and enjoy another hot dog and coke and create more memories of a lifetime. The Red Sox won the game but it didn't matter to us....

January 2013

2010-03-17T17:56:00.005-04:00

It can't get here soon enough. Here are a few things Obama has done since being in office.

Returned the Churchill bust
Gave the Queen an iPod with all of his own speeches
Insulted Czechoslovakia and Poland
Insulted and threatened Israel
Delivered an anti-Israel speech at the UN
Announced his decision to close GTMO in a year without a game plan as to what to do with the inmates
Tripled the deficit and has China worried about whether we are a good investment
Allowed his Attorney General to selectively prosecute racially charged cases
Embraced dictators and bowed to Saudi Arabia's King
Aided in a coup against Honduras' legitimate government after they legally ousted Zelaya
Unilaterally broke a missile defense agreement with no warning, on the anniversary of the Russian invasion
He has broken so many campaign promises, especially ones related to transparency and lobbyists

I hope those of you who voted for him have removed those rose colored glasses... I don't care what you say you will NEVER convince me this man was a good choice for America.

The fun begins

2010-03-17T13:50:00.001-04:00

I have decided that I am going to do a few half marathons and a full marathon later this year so that means I need to start training for them. I think I will start another blog once I start the training, it will contain what food I eat, how many miles I run, what gear I use etc. This year will be my best year yet. I have never felt so good or excited...

Life

2010-03-15T19:43:00.003-04:00

Since my husband I went to Amsterdam in December I have been on a mission so to speak. I am taking my life back. I am doing things I want to do. I am making a list and crossing things off as I go. When I was in Amsterdam I decided that I was going to get back into the game of life again and I am. I have made a two year goal. I want to accomplish certain things in that time period and I know that since I have a game plan I will do just that. I will sell the house I live in right now and get one that I like, one that I can make a home for me and my family. I will buy my camera and take some classes so I can learn to take amazing photos and fill that home with fantastic shots of my family. I will go back to Amsterdam with my daughter, I will go to Italy with my family and I will love each and every minute of it. I will make more time for my friends on the west coast. I miss them dearly. I will embrace each and everyday and find beauty in all of it. I know that we are only here for a short time when you look at the big picture our time on earth is just a sliver and I am going to make the most of it. I will tell everyone how I feel about them I will find the positive in any situation and be thankful for it. I am learning to love me for me. I have some fabulous friends who have taught me that it isn't what is on the outside that matters it is what is on the inside, they have shown me that through their examples and I am grateful for each and everyone of them. When I was training for the Nike Women's Marathon I really had some doubts about myself and my ability to do it but my friends lifted me up with their words and I will never forget when I crossed the finish line and I saw Dre and talked to Juls on the phone, I was in tears and I knew that no matter how much time had passed since I had seen or talked to them that time didn't change anything between us our friendship was just as strong as the day we met. My friend Katie is a huge inspiration to me. I could write a book about all that she has taught me. She is truly amazing, the most positive person I have ever met in my life. I don't know how she does it really. When I wanted to give up and call it quits she was there, when I didn't want to run/walk anymore she was there to encourage me. Katie has a heart of gold and I will always treasure our friendship. I could seriously comment on each and everyone of my friends and how they have all touched my life in a positive way and believe my I have most of it written down in a journal just how much I love each and everyone and how thankful I am. I guess what I am saying is that life is oh so good.... :)

Pretty

2010-03-11T20:19:00.003-05:00

Have you ever had a day when your hair turns out just right and your make-up is perfect and you just feel pretty? Yep that happened to me today. I am just loving all the changes I am making.

Books

2010-03-10T09:11:00.002-05:00

Can one have too many books and if so how many is too many? We are having a debate in our house and I am curious to see what others think about this.

Update for Maggie

2010-03-09T14:43:00.001-05:00

This post is for a friend of mine, she pointed out to me that I haven't updated the blog in a while so here you go Maggie. For the past few weeks I have been doing some "spring cleaning" so to speak. I have been hitting the delete button a lot. I just don't have time for drama in my life, I mean come on now I am in my mid 30's. I have ended a friendship that was 18 years old, it sucks yes but really I can't handle all the crap that went along with that friendship and I learned that it really was a onesided friendship for the past year. I wish that friend only happiness in the future but if they keep on the track they are on then it will be a sad and lonely life.

I also have cut my hair off, seriously it is short. I LOVE it though I look totally different I still need to take a picture of the new do. I have also been working out since the start of the year and have lost 23 pounds so far. I still have a long way to go but at least I am making progress. I will one day be skinny again, like before I had two children and cancer. I don't know if I will ever get down to the weight I was before I had chemo, radiation and two children but at least I will be in shape and healthy and that is all that really matters to me. My trainer told me that I may not look good at 120 but I may look healthier at 130 or 135 because of my height. So we shall see.

I have a new calling at church, not too sure about it but I will give it 110%. I am a Primary Teacher for the 5 year olds. I am not doing it alone thank goodness because there is noway I could. My friend Katie was also called to be a Primary Teacher. She taught the class last week and made it look oh so easy. She is so great with the kids!! I am not use to being the one in front of the class but the one who sits in the back and doesn't ask questions.

So Maggie that is what I have been up to for the past few weeks, nothing exciting just life and making changes.

My little girl is growing up

2010-01-21T19:10:00.003-05:00

Well it is official, Sierra is now legal to drive. After 4 hours at the DMV she received her permit. I can not believe that number one I am old enough to have a child that is able to drive and number two said child is old enough to drive.

I remember when she was just a little girl and learning how to ride her bike, I thought to myself one day she will be asking for the keys to the car and that day has actually arrived. My sweet little Sierra has grown up before my eyes it was just a blink I swear. Today was a happy yet sad day all in one. I miss the days when she would sit on the couch and cuddle up next to me and we would read a book or color together, but yet on the other hand I love the fact that she and I are so close. We talk about anything and everything. We have the kind of relationship that I dreamed of having when she was little. I am so lucky that I have such a good kid. I love you Sierra and am so very proud of the young woman you have become. You will always be my little girl.

Just Ranting

2010-01-19T15:02:00.004-05:00

I am sure this post will offend some people so consider yourselves warned. Why is it that when a natural disaster happens we all unite to help out those who are in need but we do nothing to help those who are in need here in our own country. In one day the Red Cross raised over 5 million dollars for those in Haiti and that is great but why is it that we can't do that for the homeless here, or for the veterans or some other cause? I just don't understand how we as a nation can give so generously to another country and yet turn our backs on our own. I don't understand how we are so far in debt as a country can give 100 million to another country. It makes me ill to think that we have so many in need here yet we turn our backs on them. I am sure some of you must think I am a cold hearted person because I would rather keep that money here and take care of our own before sending it to another country because I believe our own people need to be taken care first. I am sorry for those who are suffering in Haiti but what about those who are suffering here? I wish the media would focus on America, to show the homeless, the elderly who can't afford their medications, the children whose basic needs are not met because their parents have lost their job or that they don't get to see their parents because they have to work two or three jobs just to make ends meet. The entire situation makes me sick!!

The Proposal I Never Saw Coming

2009-12-18T08:44:00.004-05:00

On Saturday I woke up later than normal because JB and I stayed up talking until two in the morning. We eventually got up got something to eat and headed out for another day of exploring the city. JB really wanted to find this old church so we were on a mission, he had an idea as to where it was but we were in no hurry this day, we just took our time and walked hand in hand all day it was romantic to say the least.

He wanted to find this church because he had something in mind for me. We had been walking around for several hours, had lunch and it was getting late,the sun was going to be setting soon so JB took me down this one street where this old church was, he finally had "found" it and I couldn't be happier because to be honest my feet were killing me from all the walking we had done that day. We took some photos of it and then headed back this canal that put the church behind us and the sunset in front of us. We stood there for a few minutes in silence just enjoying the moment then JB said to me "I have a question for you" I looked at him and he had the most sincere look on his face, I had no idea what the question was going to be. He said "Cynthia I was wondering if you would marry me again?" I was in tears because I knew that for the first time in 16 years that this man was really totally in love with me for all the right reasons, and loved me with all my flaws and I was in love with him, we were a real couple who were really in love with one another I know this all sounds so strange but it was so romantic, I did say "Yes" to him by the way. He even had a new ring for me.

Friday in Amsterdam

2009-12-17T09:06:00.007-05:00

So Friday I spent the day site seeing and kind of sad because JB was not with me, to experience the sites with me. I went to the Anne Frank House, I didn't think it would be as emotional as it was. I have read the book at least 20 times in my life and to actually be standing there where it all took place was just amazing to me. After spending an hour in the house I went outside and sat on a bench and thought about life and how fortunate I am to be able to do anything I want to do. This was the day that I set new goals for myself and decided to get back into the game called life, don't get me wrong I am not totally out of the woods yet of depression but I am on the road to recovery. I sat and reflected on everything I had done this year and realized I am that strong woman, I can do anything I set my mind to, it just takes hard work and determination and sometimes I just need a little help from my family and friends to push me along and remind me I can do it. I will embrace the journey of life and live each day as though it may be my last because you never know if you have tomorrow. I remembered this saying "Never give up, don't ever give up." so I will not give up, I will get up every day and fight everyday to live.

Amsterdam Day One

2009-12-17T07:46:00.007-05:00

Day one was filled with laughter and lots of it. After JB and I checked into our hotel near Dam Square we headed out for the day. We walked the streets of Amsterdam and we managed to find a little coffee shop and we sat down and had tea and hot coco and just talked for hours. We hadn't done that in years no joke. Our lives had gotten so off track as a couple that we had been talking about going our own ways before this trip. We first talked about ground rules, no talking about the kids on this trip. This trip was for us. So when we first got there it was a bit strange to be honest but then we just started to open up to one another we made a list of questions we wanted answers to. That is when the laughter returned to our relationship. We asked the most silly questions, it was kind of like a first date really. For those of you who may not know JB and I have been together since May of 1993 and so in that time we both had changed in many ways and we didn't know one another anymore. We sat in that coffee shop and laughed until it hurt. When we left that coffee shop we left hand in hand. It felt wonderful and I had a smile on my face a real smile. We then headed over to the train station since he had to get a train the next day to Apeldoorn for business. We bought his tickets for the next day and then headed back to the hotel for some dinner and rest. I ordered a bowl of spaghetti and he ordered the chicken parm, neither were very good, to be honest I wasn't all that thrilled with the food over there at all I thought it was rather bland,I expected more flavor.

Amsterdam

2009-12-02T09:51:00.004-05:00

Yep that is where I will be next week. I never thought I would be in Amsterdam at Christmas time, can't wait to see what it is like there!!

1 Point Away UGH!!

2009-11-16T16:13:00.005-05:00

I swear if I hear this one more time this school year I am going to scream. I hear this a few times a week. "Mom I am just one point away from an A, or B" Dude if you know you are only a point away do the work to get the A or B... Do the extra credit and just get it done. Now I know she works hard but it drives me nuts that she just doesn't go that extra mile to get that one point!!! I get a progress report each week so I know how she is doing all the time and I know that her test scores are terrible, they have always been terrible so I don't even worry about those I look at all the other stuff and so far I can't complain but I am just tired of hearing about that one point.... With that said, keep up that great work Sierra I am proud of you and all your hard work just get that DAMN POINT would ya :)

Hunter, the Zoo and Making Memories

2009-11-09T10:27:00.003-05:00

We spent the day at the zoo. Hunter had never been so JB thought it would perfect weather to load the family into the car and go. I on the other hand thought "can't I just crawl back into bed and not be around people?" Nope... I spent the entire day around lots and lots of people laughing and smiling and having a fantastic day. I faked it. I smiled and laughed for the sake of family time but all I really wanted was to be as far away from these people as possible!! With that said Hunter had the BEST time ever. He loved and I mean LOVED the flamingos and as he calls them the "red butts" monkeys, he laughed so hard when he saw them it really was cute to see his reaction to those baboons. He was like a kid in a candy store rushing to take everything in. He did not like the lions, alligators, or the rhinos. He wants a giraffe so they can eat all the leaves off the trees and that way he won't have to rake them up, I do like the way he thinks, so smart my Hunter is. I felt so very sad for Willy the polar bear because he was all alone, he was the only animal that didn't have a partner. He even looked sad, just lying there doing nothing at all. Sierra captured some great shots of the birds, a parrot kept following me around. He was really beautiful. He was so close I could have pet him but I prefer my fingers attached to my hand so I thought better of it. By the time we got home last night I was exhausted but not Hunter he slept all the way home (all of an hour) and was ready to play some more so he rode his bike and played with Samsun outside until it was dark and had to come in. Can I just tell you that even though I didn't want to go yesterday I wouldn't have missed it for the world. Hunter now has memories of the zoo and riding the carousel with his Mom and laughing and smiling and seeing all the animals he sees on t.v. I love that boy!!

Depression

2009-11-02T15:00:00.004-05:00

I am suffering from depression right now. In the past few years I have struggled with my battle of breast cancer, ankle issues, being sued (which is still going on) as well as other issues. I tried to take my mind off of things and focus on things that are positive, like training for the Nike Women's Marathon. I thought that if I did that then I would be stronger to deal with the other issues, I thought it would give me some self confidence, self esteem. But I was wrong. All I want to do is stay in bed and not do anything, it takes everything out of me to get out of bed everyday. Most days I do not even get dressed. I hate the way I feel, the way I look. I hate that I let myself be this way but no matter how much I focus on the positive things in my life I still feel like a pathetic piece of waste. I seem to just go through the motions right now. I do what I need to do each day because I have my 4 year old at home with me all day but to be honest I am just plane numb. I have called around to get in and talk to somebody to help me through this but no one is taking new patients at this time, I have tried to tell them just how desprate I am but it doesn't matter. Why is it that people just seem to think that depression is a frame of mind and not a real illness. It makes me so angry that people tell me oh focus on the positive and you will be happy again, be thankful for what you have in life, be thankful that you are still alive. Well that is just it, it doesn't matter to me. No matter how much I focus on it I am still not happy. It doesn't matter that my son tells me funny knock knock jokes and I just don't laugh, or how my daughter trys to make me smile but I just don't. I feel like the worlds worst parent so I question everything in my life. I am thankful that I have healthy happy children and the best friends a girl could ask for but I just don't know what to do. I have asked for blessings and received them, I have prayed, I have asked Heavenly Father for help and guidence but I just don't feel any better. I am just lost and sad and don't know what to do. I spent Sunday in the house, the thought of going to church was too much for me I couldn't do it. I am just rambling here, sorry for those of you who may actually read this I thought it might help me get some of this out. If I am out of touch for a while I hope you all understand, it is nothing personal against any of you. I just need to get better..

Ouch!

2009-10-09T08:35:00.003-04:00

Let me start by saying as a parent one of my worst fears is that one of my children getting hurt and not being able to do anything about it. Well last night that happened. Sierra was hit in the mouth by a ball while she was pitching in the last inning of the game. I knew the second it happened, I was sitting in the stands, talking with another Mom about how much I don't like her pitching because she doesn't have her mouth guard yet. Yep the ball took a bad hop and hit her in the mouth, blood all over. I did good I didn't run out to the mound I walked over to the dugout and waited then I knew something was really wrong when they called me out to the mound. I ran out there and saw ALL the blood, it was running down her hands, shoes, shorts, towel. I removed the towel from her mouth and saw the upper lip split then I saw the bottom lip, the inside of that one was split. So I brought her home, gave her some Advil, took her into the bathroom, cleaned her up so I could actually see the damage that was done. We were lucky there was no damage to her teeth or braces but she did end up with 2 fat split lips and bruising. We will be buying her a pitchers mask this weekend so in case she wants to pitch again she will be well protected... :-)

The countdown begins

2009-10-06T12:11:00.003-04:00

OK only 10 days to go until I fly out to California for the Nike Women's Marathon. I can't believe it is here already. I swear it feels like just yesterday I was signing up with my friend Katie to do this. I can't believe all the miles I have ran/walked preparing for the big day. But I don't want to talk about the miles here in this post I want to share with you what I have learned while running/walking all those miles. I learned that there are some really amazing people out there trying to make a difference in others lives. I have learned that I am a strong woman who can do anything I set my mind to, I learned to have self confidence, I see myself as a beautiful person inside and out even though I am not the perfect size 2 and that it doesn't matter that I am not a size 2 because I am healthy and I am here for my family and I am a survivor of cancer. I learned some of those things while fighting my own battle with cancer the past 3 years but I never shared anything I learned. I met some amazing people on this journey who have Leukemia or Lymphoma and they are heros to me, they inspire me to keep going when I am out on my longer runs and when I want to stop I remember their stories and I keep going because right now they can't. I am in aw of those who are just starting out on their journey and have yet to learn what it is they are going to learn while on this journey. I do not pity those who have cancer because that is one thing they do not want. So for those of you who are lucky enough to never have to deal with cancer in your own personal life take the time to volunteer at an event that helps those with cancer, we can use all the help we can get. I look forward to thanking some of the volunteers at that finish line come October 18th for their time and dedication to the cause. I will always remember this journey and cherish each and every minute of it, even the sleepless nights and my amazing friends who helped me get there. Thank you to all of you for helping me get there and for those of you who I don't even know and have donated and supported me with encouraging words thank you!!

Weekend with Family

2009-09-20T17:17:00.003-04:00

This weekend Johns family has been in town, they flew out from Northern California. We haven't seen them in about 6-7 years. Friday John took them to the beach since they hadn't been to the beach on the East Coast before. They really enjoyed the warm water and some fishing as well. Then on Saturday they went to Charlotte to the Bass Pro Shops because they do not have one of those back home either and since they are all fishermen they had a great time. After they got home from the mall we took them to Goodberry's, another first for them and they loved that also. Today was a day of golf, and fishing. We started the day hitting a few bucket of balls at the driving range since neither one had ever hit a golf ball in their life. They learned they do not love golf like we do. So John took them fishing again but this time it was just at Bond Park. I am sure they are loving each and every minute of it. We have had some pretty good weather since they have been here so far, overcast but no rain and no humidity highs in the the upper 70's lower 80's. They can't complain, I know I'm not. I am now cooking a chicken taco ring for dinner for when they do decide to come home and eat. I must admit it has been a nice visit this time around. Nice change actually. Hope everyone has had a fabulous weekend!!

Aundrea

2009-09-16T08:14:00.005-04:00

Friendships are an amazing gift in life. We sometimes don't realize just how special our friends are. We have many different types of friends. Sometimes we have friends who are crafty, some that are sporty, some that are adventurous, some that are shy. The past few weeks I haven't been feeling in the best of moods, I must admit I have become depressed because of the stress of fundraising for the Nike Women's Marathon coming up next month. I have slept all of 4 hours in 5 days from all that stress but last night a friend of mine called me and left me such a touching voice mail it made me cry and made me sit and reflect then when I read the note she sent to her friends about me to help me in my fundraising efforts she really had me in tears, like seriously crying like a baby boohooing. We have not seen one another since high school and have reconnected through facebook. She reminded me why all those years ago why I was drawn to her. She has a heart of gold, she is there for you to pick you up when you are down, she is a ray of sunshine! I am truly the lucky one in the friendship, I know she and I don't see eye to eye on religion but I do believe that God brings people into our lives for a reason and I made sure to thank him last night when I said my prayers for bringing her into mine all those years ago. I have learned to not take advantage of the friendships we have and to really learn to appreciate each and everyone of them, they are unique gifts that should be treasured. I can honestly say I truly treasure my wonderful friend Aundrea. I love you Dre!!!

New Season/New School

2009-08-26T20:24:00.003-04:00

So a few weeks ago Sierra tried out for the city league softball teams and tonight was their first practice. She did pretty good actually. She played all of outfield, as well as first and second base. She worked with the pitching coach and seemed to enjoy that as well. But to be honest I think the girl belongs in the outfield, either center or left she has one heck of an arm on her. She didn't do to bad at the bat either, but I think we will be going to the cages a few times a week so she is a more consistent switch hitter. Sierra bunts the ball really well as a righty but can't bunt as a lefty and can smack the heck out of the ball as a lefty but can't do it as a righty. I want her to be able to be able to both. I guess that comes from me wanting her to a versatile player since I played baseball for so long. Anyway it was great to meet the coaches and a few of the other parents. It will be a short season just 8 games but it will prepare her for the spring tryouts for the school come February.

Also this week Sierra started at Cary High, she is now a Freshman. I can't believe my little girl is in High School. She has grown up so quickly it makes me happy yet sad at the same time. She is such an amazing young lady now. She has figured out what she wants to do and has set her goals and has organized things in such a way that she will be able to attain those goals. I am so very proud of her. I know that the next four years of her life are going to be great ones for her. I know she will have trials but I think I have done a good job as a parent to help her stay on the right track and make the right choices. I am looking forward to watching her grow even more over the next four years..

Recommitted to Nike Women's Marathon

2009-07-29T17:37:00.005-04:00

OK well just when I was about to give up and not recommit to the Nike Women's Marathon because I didn't think I would get any donations other than what Katie and I had done from a yard sale and selling a Vera Bradley Bag some friends of mine have donated and given me hope. So yes I have turned in my forms and recommitted. Call me crazy since I don't even have half of the money raised yet and all of it needs to be turned in 7 weeks but I think with the help of my amazing friends and more fundraising I think I can reach the goal of $3,900 and help make a difference and hopefully one day we will live in a world that is cancer free.

Update

2009-07-23T09:11:00.004-04:00

So far this month I have ran/walked 94 miles. I am pleased with all the miles I have put in so far. I went to the doctor yesterday to have my ankle looked at since I am having so much pain in it after I run. Come to find out after the x-rays the screws are coming out of the plates so we came to the conclusion that I will need to have the surgery to replace both the plates and screws. Now I am not doing it until after the Nike Women's Marathon so the compromise is that I take it easy when I run, don't push myself and when I feel the pain I MUST stop. I may not do all the miles each week according to the training log by Team in Training but I will still train, I know I am not running in the marathon to be first I am running for those who can't and to raise awareness to a very serious illness so even if I finish 20,000th I will be happy..

Lake Pine

2009-07-21T18:38:00.003-04:00

8 miles = 4 laps around the lake. I enjoyed my walk/slow jog this evening. My foot is on ice as I type this. It doesn't hurt as much as it did on Saturday but it is just as swollen. I can handle it being swollen I can't handle the pain that goes along with it though so it was nice to finish the walk/slow jog without the pain this time. I am going to see my Dr. tomorrow so he can take some x-rays and tell me if the screws are coming out further and causing my issues. I really enjoy running at Lake Pine, it is such a peaceful place to train, I wished we would train there on a Saturday as a team. I fell in love with the trail before I even joined Team in Training and started training for the Nike Women's Marathon.

6 miles @ Shelly Lake

2009-07-19T11:59:00.005-04:00

Six miles may not sound like a lot of miles to run or even walk but let me just tell you it IS!! I did it on three hours of sleep. I was tired from lack of sleep the night before I just couldn't fall asleep.. When we arrived at Shelly Lake the coaches were still talking so I was happy that they hadn't started on the trail without us. We kind of got lost trying to find this place, it didn't help that Raleigh has more than one Millbrooke St. Anyway we all started out walking the trail then the faster runners took off and since I am not one of them I stay to the back of the group. I ran for about two miles, feeling pretty good, not winded at all, pace was good. My ankle on the other hand still hates that I run.. It was swollen I had to stop and loosen my laces a bit and hope that it would not get much bigger since my toes were starting to tingle as well. I still had 4 miles to go and I really wanted to finish. I walked to the halfway point got some water, rested for a minute then started to run again, can I just tell you what a complete idiot I am. I don't listen to my body, I should have just walked the rest of the way back but I didn't want to be the last one out on the trail so I ran. Also I knew my friend Katie would be back and waiting for me and I didn't want to keep her any longer than I already had so I pushed myself. I finished the six miles and I felt good except my ankle. My ankle was so swollen it was the same size as my calf, no joke. I had blisters on both feet. I wasn't winded or anything and I wasn't sore so I shouldn't complain really but this ankle really will be the death of me I think... When I got home I iced it and kept it up for a while the swelling has gone done some and I am walking slowly and not putting much pressure on my foot, not sure what this weeks training will hold for me...

Miles & Recommitment

2009-07-17T09:35:00.006-04:00

Last month I ran/walked 124 miles training and this month so far I have ran/walked 78 miles. I am a bit burned out to be honest and only because I am seeing zero results from this running. I have not lost much weight, my energy level has not increased at all. I thought I would feel better after being in the routine of running but I am not. I run about a 10 minute mile not too bad I don't think. I am frustrated with the fundraising, I doubt I will recommit to run the Nike Women's Marathon for October. I just don't think I will have the money raised and I certainly don't want to pay $3,900 out of my own pocket and if I don't have half of the funds raised by recommitment date of July 30th then I can't do it.

Figuring it out

2009-06-15T18:29:00.006-04:00

On Saturday I went to Lake Pine. It is a park close to the house that has a nice 2 mile paved path around the lake. I ran 2 miles without feeling any pain in my ankle, so I thought I would try another lap around the lake and about half way through that second lap my ankle was KILLING me so I once again had to walk the rest of the way. I am beyond frustrated with trying to figure this out. I want to just run..... This morning I went running and I tried the run for 2 minutes walk for 3 since my running coach suggested trying that to help build up the strength in my ankle and I don't know if that will make any difference since I only ran 2 miles this morning. I am going out tonight for another 2 mile run and will try his advice for a week and see how things go. I am keeping running journal everyday so I can see where I have improved and how my ankle does at different parks and distances. I hope that will help solve my problems with my ankle.

My Hair

2009-06-11T21:07:00.005-04:00

Tonight I went to a fundraising meeting with my friend Katie. It was not what we had hoped it would be, we thought it would be about new ideas we hadn't heard before but it was really just going over the same stuff we had heard several times before. On the drive home we were trying to come up with some new ideas and really be creative and I thought well why not shave my hair off to the highest bidder over $500. No joke, I will let the person who donates the highest amount over $500 shave my hair off. I mean it wouldn't be the first time I was without hair and the money goes to a fabulous cause. It is a win win for all involved... Cancer is such a scary thing, and I know from experience just how scary it is. But I truly believe in this cause, we need to find a cure for all cancers! I am even going to go down to the local news paper and ask them what I need to do to put an article in. I will keep you all posted to the outcome, even post photos of before and after.

Training...

2009-06-08T07:33:00.003-04:00

On Saturday was the first team training.. I got there early (I hate being late for ANYTHING). When I arrived Julie was there setting things up and what not so I got a chance to talk to her and get to know her a little better. She is such a positive person and has a great sense of humor. After a team meeting that lasted about 35 minutes we hit the trail with the coach's. There were 3 teams training together, Raleigh, Durham and the Triathlon Team. I will admit I did not like having so many people there on the trail, but I guess I should get over that since I will be around thousands more come marathon day. Anyway I started out at a slower pace because I hadn't actually ran on my ankle since I had surgery to put it all back together. I felt my pace was a bit slow so I picked it up a little and that felt fine. I noticed after a while however that I was getting shooting pain in my ankle and then I felt the pop. So I stopped running and walked, talk about total disappointment. I felt like such a failure that I had to stop. I mean I was feeling really good about my pace and how I was able to still carry on a conversation and not be winded at all but just my ankle wouldn't cooperate with the rest of my body, really disappointing.. After I walked for a bit I noticed we had a small hill to run up so I thought well lets give it a shot and see how we do with that. I ran up it and I noticed again the shooting pain and the pop sound again so once I got to the top I walked. I don't know what the deal is with my ankle but I will NOT allow it to stop me from completing this goal of mine. I am running for those who can not run, I am running for me as well, even though I didn't have any of the cancers that I am raising awareness for I am still a cancer survivor.... I want this to be a positive experience in my life, I want to look back on it and say "I did it!!" I want this to be a wonderful time in my life, so my ankle will have to learn to get over it and let me run darn it!!!

Nike Women's Marathon

2009-06-04T12:06:00.005-04:00

Well since my last post I have been a little busy with something and I didn't really think anyone would want to hear about it but then I was told that people would want to hear about it so here is the big news, I have signed up to run in the Nike Women's Marathon in San Francisco. I started walking a few weeks ago with my friend Katie who is also doing the marathon. I have walked in the past 2 weeks over 25 miles and this weekend is the first team training and I am very excited about it! I plan to run the course but since I broke my ankle a few years back in 5 places and have plates and screws holding things together I thought walking would be the best way to get back into things so this weekend when I actually train with the team I will run and see how things feel but I have made a promise to myself that I will run the entire course and I will cross that finish line.... I will update this blog every few days with my progress.

Found what I was looking for....(more rambling I think)

2009-04-14T13:49:00.009-04:00

Well as you may know I was in a "funk" for a while but I am fine now. I have come up with a game plan to make the changes in my life that will make me happy and keep me happy. I have done a lot of searching for answers and trying to figure out what it was that was making me so unhappy and I learned what that was and the next few months will be full of changes in my life. Some people may not understand them or agree with them but I am ok with that because I have learned that I do not have to please EVERYONE I only need to please myself and that I come FIRST... For so long I thought that I had to do everything for everyone and I lost myself doing that. I have learned through my searching that I have let myself go, that it is time to get myself back to where I was. I can no longer use my cancer as an excuse to be unhappy it is time to shut the door to the past and look ahead to my future one that will be filled with LOVE, Happiness and tons of Laughter... Oh how I have missed the laughter.... I have missed the music in my life... I am so in love with life right now I could just scream.. I am awake to all of its possibilities and I am going to enjoy each and every minute of it!! I am no longer going to put my life on hold because I could miss out on so much if I do and I have already missed out on too much.... I am going to tell people how I really feel about them, I am going to let go of the anger, the resentment all the things that made me unhappy. I am special. I am worthy of love and happiness and all the great things in life... It is amazing how when you are looking for one thing something completely different appears, it really has baffled me. I am not going to try and figure that out I am just going to enjoy each and every second of it. It has given me hope it has given me peace... Love, Happiness and Laughter is all a person needs...

Regnier and Tryon Palace

2009-04-13T18:07:00.004-04:00

I was in need of a Regnier "fix" so today Sierra, Hunter and I headed to New Bern to visit him~ After talking with him on the phone we decided that we would tour the Tryon Palace ~ We purchased our tickets in the morning decided we would do the noon tour since that would give us time to check out the Dixon House and the gardens before our tour was to begin~ I was a little nervous about taking Hunter into the Dixon House as well as the Palace since he is only 4 but he was PERFECT, he didn't touch anything and stayed right next to either Tyler or myself the entire time~ Anyway I loved all the fine details in both the Palace as well as the Dixon House~ I guess you could say that Tyler and I were the only ones (in our tour group) who really appreciated the intricate details in the moulding's and trim in both homes~ We also fell in love with the staircase in the Palace, one word to describe it would be AMAZING!!! I wish we were able to take photos inside so that I could show you all but it wasn't allowed~ While we were waiting for the tour to begin Tyler had kind of given us a tour of the grounds since he had been there before~ I fell in love with the gardens at the Palace~ They had such a wonderful variety of Tulips it was just full of color, granted not as beautiful as the Biltmore Estate but I was still in awe of the red and white tulips as well as the pink ones, not to mention the size of them, I have never seen tulips so big before~ After the tour we went and grabbed something to eat and just sat around and talked for about an hour, it was so great to catch up with Tyler and meet his new companion~ I didn't realize how much I really missed him until today~ It is amazing how friendships are formed and how people come into our lives~ What is even more funny is that Tyler and I didn't like one another when he first arrived in Cary but yet there isn't anything I wouldn't do for him and vise versa~ Friendships what a wonderful gift!!

Beautiful Weekend

2009-04-06T12:15:00.004-04:00

This weekend was the "perfect" spring weather weekend!! We started the weekend with us hanging out with the Grandparents and playing ball out at their house and watching General Conference there.. I really enjoyed the the talks given at conference.. But I hate to say this I enjoyed playing ball with my children more. I loved hearing the laughter from them as Hunter would hit the ball, I think he is going to be a switch hitter just like his big sister Sierra. I also enjoyed playing on the swings and playing with Shadow, their black lab.... It was just perfect weather all weekend, in the 70's with blue sky, white puffy clouds and a slight breeze at times.. It doesn't get any better than that!! Then on Sunday we went to the park in between sessions for conference. I pitched to Sierra so she could get some practice in and she did pretty good, she just needs to learn to not pull her head and watch the ball a little more. I know that comes with experience so I won't hold it against her right now. I also pitched to Hunter for a little while, that is until he got tired of hitting and wanted to play on the playground.. So we spent about an hour on the playground and boy was he tired when we got home, so tired in fact the boy actually took a nap.. I would say this has been a weekend to remember even if all we did was play ball but it was wonderful family time... I love the spring!!! I hope you all were able to get outside and enjoy the weather also...

Lucky...

2009-03-27T11:49:00.005-04:00

Today I realized what a lucky person I am to have such a wonderful friend in my life. This morning my friend Katie stopped by. It brightened my spirits to sit and chat with her while we shared some yummy treats that she brought over. I love visiting with her because she is so happy and has a wonderful spirit about her. Her smile is contagious, and brightens the room. I was able to actually laugh and smile and feel genuinely happy. It has been a while since I was able to feel that way. I also learned today that no matter what kind of funk I am in I am loved and that people care about me..

In case you are reading this Katie, THANK YOU!!!!

More Ramblings...

2009-03-26T09:03:00.004-04:00

I wonder if other people wear a mask sometimes. What I mean is do people put on a "show" when others are around to make them think all is well and then once they leave they take the mask off and show be who they really are. I wonder this because lately I have been doing this, I act as though life couldn't be any better at the Santangelo home, and in reality things are crumbling all around me. I am one of those who does not like to be a burden to anyone, I don't ask for help, I do things for myself and I am good with that. I don't know how to even ask for help. I LOVE to help others, I don't do it to get anything in return I just love the feeling I get when I know I have helped make someones day a little better... I was asked a while ago by a missionary why I don't like help and my answer was this, I don't like to accept help because I know there are other people out there who really need help because they can't do for themselves and I can. So why take that help from them when they are the ones who truly need it. He couldn't understand my logic, he said but you are taking blessings away from those who would want to help you. I disagreed because if you are helping them instead of me you are still getting those blessings... I wish I could just sit down and tell somebody what is really on my mind but I can't. I keep things inside(except for my journal) I have a wall up and have ever since I can remember. This plays a huge role in my relationships because I don't let people get close to me, I don't want to get hurt, let down etc. I know that by doing this I also miss out on true happiness but I am not willing to let that wall down. I figure if I don't let the wall down I am not going to get hurt, I will not break into a million little pieces. Not exactly setting the example for my daughter or my son but I have had a wall around me since I was in elementary school. How is one to just rip that wall down over night? I had a talk the other night with JB and told him that I was tired of living here, I wanted a change, I need a change and his response was you can't make any changes until Sierra is out of high school. So I need to continue to do what I am doing even though it isn't making me happy, I understand making a sacrifice for my children I have done it many times and I am good with that but when my sanity is on the line I think it is best to make whatever changes needed to make sure that I can continue to be the best parent I can be for them. Maybe I am wrong here, it wouldn't surprise me if I was.... I know this is long and doesn't make much sense but there are times when one needs to just ramble......

Blank ~ Just Rambling On and On ~

2009-03-25T12:22:00.005-04:00

I don't know what it is but lately I just seem to be in a total funk.... I am tired of how things are in my life and I am working towards making some changes. I mentioned back in January that I was going to work on my list, and I have made great progress on that list, I have completed the Book of Mormon, lost 24 pounds, organized the entire upstairs of my house. When I say organized I mean I went through every closet, cabinet and room and downsized and organized. I no longer have things that I haven't used in years. I even went so far as to toss out entire boxes without even opening them. I figured if I hadn't looked in them for a least 6 months then I didn't need the contents of that box any longer so out it went. But I have noticed even though I have accomplished these things on the list I don't feel any better. It didn't bring any sense of happiness that I lost the weight and am continuing to do so, I don't feel better knowing my house is almost in complete order. I will say that when I completed the Book of Mormon that I felt a sense of peace and accomplishment and was happy for a few days after that but then I went blank, numb so to speak. I just don't know what the deal is.

I put on a happy face for everyone but in reality I am numb inside. I was talking to a old high school friend last night and he use to make me laugh but I didn't see the humor in anything, I played along like all was great but inside nothing.... So tonight when I head to church I will put on the same smile and give a talk about how we will be blessed for our works and then head home and put my son to bed and listen to my daughter tell me all about her night of talking with friends and the latest thing going on and then head to bed where I can hide and I no longer have to pretend..... I hope I can figure this out soon and really be happy again... *sigh*

To the First 5 People that Read This Post...

2009-02-26T10:34:00.003-05:00

The first five people to respond to this post will get something made by me! My choice. For you. This offer does have some restrictions and limitations:

1- I make no guarantees that you will like what I make!
2- What I create will be just for you.
3- It'll be done this year.
4- You have no clue what it's going to be.

The catch is that you must re-post this on your blog and offer the same to the first 5 people who do the same on your blog. The first 5 people to do so and leave a comment telling me they did win a homemade gift by me! Oh, and be sure to post a picture of what you win when you get it!!!

You don't really have to post this on your blog, I just thought it would be fun!!

An Interview

2009-02-18T09:53:00.008-05:00

So a few weeks ago I was reading For the Journey's blog and she had a posting titled An interview and I thought it was a neat way to get to know people. I have been following her blog for a little over a year now and I feel as though I have gotten to know her, well at least that she is an amazing photographer and is one of the most creative people I "know". So anyway I thought I would volunteer for her to interview me and here are the questions she sent me.

"I think I remember reading that you're from California. What's
your opinion of the East Coast vs. the West Coast. Would you want to
ever live on the West Coast again?"

I absolutely love living on the East Coast and I seriously doubt I will ever live in California again. I just never felt like that was "home" to me. I never felt like I belonged there. I am all about road trips so living here on the East Coast is great for me to see a new town all the time and to learn the history of our country. I also love how nice the people are out here, it did take me some time to get use to children calling me Ms. Cynthia they definitely do not do that in California. I also love the beaches here, they are WARM unlike in Northern California. One thing I will say that I do NOT like at all about North Carolina is the fact that I can not get my salami out here and they do not have a Round Table Pizza here. I miss my Gallo Salami!

"It sounds like LDS is a new thing for you (correct me if I'm
wrong). How were you introduced to it?"

I am a convert to the church. I joined the church back in 2002. I grew up with a few Mormon friends but I never knew what the really believed I just knew that my Mother was against the church so we never really talked about it. When I lived in California I met a missionary and we became friends, stayed in touch with him throughout his mission, he went home to Canada and I moved to North Carolina. In January of 2002 I was just feeling lost and somewhat alone and I was talking to Sean about it and he sent me a Book of Mormon and asked that I read a few scriptures that he had marked, long story short I met up with Elders Holgate and King while they were tracking and on February 8th 2002 I was baptized and confirmed a member of the church. That lost feeling I had and the sense of feeling alone was gone. Even though I have been a member for 7 years now I still feel as though I am a new memeber because I was not raised in the church. ( this is totally the short version of my conversion story. )

"Do you have a favorite birthday party memory? Which birthday and
what made it special?"

I do not have a favorite birthday party memory but I do have a favorite birthday memory. Every year for my birthday my Grandmother would always make me a lemon cake from scratch. She was an amazing baker!

"If you had a perfectly empty weekend without any chores, how would
you spend it with your family?"

If I had an empty weekend without chores, I would spend the weekend in the mountains. I love going to the mountains here in North Carolina. We would spend the weekend at a cabin and just hang out, play games, go hiking, take tons of photos and just have some quality time together.

"What is your favorite dish to cook? Where did you learn the recipe?"

My all time favorite dish to cook is lasagna. I learned how to make it from my parents. My Mother showed me how when I was younger but my Father taught me how to perfect it when I was an adult. I use the fresh herbs and I make the pasta from scratch. I always have homemade bread to go with it as well as a salad.

If you would like to be interviewed let me know, I will send you some questions and you can answer them in a post :)

Before and After

2009-02-05T09:12:00.009-05:00

Here is what the house looked like when we first bought it in 2004. It was a bluish gray color that was rather depressing to me. We actually bought the house because the yard was so large and it was on a cul-de-sac.

And here is my house now, in 2009. JB painted the house this past summer and I just love how my house looks now!

We still have some things we need to do to the outside, like replace the light fixtures and do some landscaping but that will be done in the spring. This post is for a friend of mine back home who was curious about before and after shots so here you are Dre.

hmmm era of openess, really?

2009-01-25T20:38:00.003-05:00

So this week I have been watching the news and I noticed that President Obama said something that I really liked and gave me hope that things were going to start off great and change was really going to happen. Here is what he said:

"The executive order on ethics I will sign shortly represents a clean break from business as usual. As of today, lobbyists will be subject to stricter limits than under any other administration in history. If you are a lobbyist entering my administration, you will not be able to work on matters you lobbied on, or in the agencies you lobbied during the previous two years. When you leave government, you will not be able to lobby my administration for as long as I am president."

But then a few days later he said he wants an exception to his rule. He wants William Lynn as the new deputy defense secretary, but the problem is this, he is a former lobbyist for a big defense contractor called Raytheon. So my question is this, why even make the new rule when you have no intention of following it? Don't they understand that this is why most Americans are so damn cynical?

Working on my list

2009-01-13T22:32:00.006-05:00

So for the past three days I have managed to accomplish a a few things.

Organized my closet, I donated 3 bags of clothing to goodwill.
Organized Hunters room.
Sent out recent photos of Sierra to family out West.
Put together a budget for the next 6 months.
Wrote letters to friends out West.
Have worked out 2 days, walked a total of 7 miles as well.
I read "Strengthened by the Storm"
Baked a pumpkin pie from scratch for Adam (Elder Bigelow) and delivered it.

So even though I haven't accomplished everything on my list, I can't complain about what I have accomplished. I think if I just do a little each day then I will be ok. I will pick one room to work on each day and organize it, I want to get rid of anything I haven't touched or used in 6 months. I figure I don't need it if I haven't used it in 6 months. I feel the most difficult room to organize will be my kitchen, I love my kitchen gadgets, lets just say I have a very well stocked Pampered Chef Kitchen and it will be most difficult to part with anything in there....

Taking a break....

2009-01-11T21:27:00.007-05:00

So I have decided that I am going to be taking a break from the internet for a few days. I have come to the conclusion that I spend way too much time on the computer so I will not be blogging or on facebook, myspace or checking email until at least Thursday. I will actually be locking my laptop up in the safe. I am just burned out and need a break. I need to get back to the simple things in life, I miss those days, I miss a lot of things so I will take the next few days to sit down and reflect, write actual letters that you send in a envelope with a stamp, write in my scripture journal, start to organize my house and begin my list of things to accomplish this year.

Update on Hunter

2009-01-05T20:18:00.004-05:00

So today I took Hunter in to see if the medication he has been taking for the past week has been working. He has gone from a 7 to a 9 (our goal is to be at a 13) so that is good news but his doctor is still not happy with them. She said she would have liked for the numbers to be higher than they are so she said NO MILK at all, not one drop of milk. Well I told her that I had an issue with that since his numbers had gone up and that we had cut his milk back from a gallon a day to only 8 ounces MAX and that there was no way I could take away his milk, that is just plain cruel in my book as his mother. She then tried to tell me that it is in his best interest to not drink any milk, he is old enough now that he doesn't need any milk in his diet. So then I proceeded to tell her that in all the books I have read as well as all the pamphlets her office has given me in the past week that a child between the ages of 3-5 NEED between 8-20 ounces of milk a DAY in their diet. They need the calcium for their bones as well as their teeth so I was not going to cut out the minimum amount of milk needed for my son. I said it would be a different story if his numbers had not changed but since they were going up I would not get rid of the milk in his diet. I don't know maybe I am over reacting here but I just can't in good conscious do that to him. I am open to hear what others think about this, feel free to give me your opinion on the matter, am I wrong for going against the doctor? Am I being a bad mother for not following her orders?

Samsun

2009-01-04T19:45:00.005-05:00

Here is one of my favorite photos of Samsun, also known as Sammy or Sam. Samsun is my 3 year old yellow lab. He is one of the largest labs I have ever seen in my life, he weighs roughly 102 pounds and stands at my waist. According to the vet he isn't over weight, just solid muscle. I like to think of him as my gentle giant. He does have one flaw though he absolutely HATES to have his paws touched. I don't know what that is about but ever since we brought him home as a puppy he has hated it, it makes trimming his nails a bit of a challenge and one that I leave for JB to do. I refuse to wrestle with him to get that job done and they seem to have an "understanding" so it all works out. Some of Samsun's favorite things to do are fetch his tennis ball, he will do that for hours if I allowed it. He has a stash of tennis balls in the bushes around the yard. He also loves to lay by the front door in the afternoons and watch the squirrels eat the bird food out of the feeders I have as well as watch the kids walk down the street from the bus stop. My mail lady is terrified of him, but then again if you didn't know how gentle he really is and saw him and heard his bark it might scare you a little. I guess I know what a gentle dog he is and how much he just wants to be your friend that I have to laugh when she freaks out. I love how at the end of the day when he is ready for bed he will come up and nudge you and look at the stairs, I will ask him if he is ready for bed and his ears will perk up as if to say " Well duh I am waiting for you" so then I will head up to bed and he will sleep at the end of the bed by my feet. He makes a wonderful foot warmer in the winter time. I love my Samsun, I love how he is my constant companion and loves me unconditionally and is so gentle and so loving. I love how he shows so much expression in his eyes. I am a bit biased here but I would have to say that I have the best dog in the world!!

My list of things to accomplish this year

2009-01-01T18:59:00.007-05:00

I have never been one to make new year resolutions so I won't even begin to do so now, but I will make a list of things I want to accomplish this year, I don't believe it is the same as a resolution but hey I could be wrong (wouldn't be the first time, lol)

Organize the entire house, room by room (minimize)
Get in shape
Read the Book of Mormon in its entirety (working with the missionaries on that one)
Go to the Temple more often
Get new camera, take more photographs of family and friends
Take a few road trips
See my brother in California
Make time for ME!!

So there are a few things for me to work on, I will come back and update on how things are progressing on this list although I won't go into detail about the Book of Mormon because I feel that is a bit too personal but I will note what books I have read and such things like that- I do have one small suggestion for those who read this, if you do nothing else this year, take time to write in a journal- I am sure my friends are sick of hearing that from me but really it is a wonderful thing to do, not just for you but for your children down the road-

I hope everyone has a wonderful new year with many blessings to you all~

My little guy...

2008-12-30T20:52:00.003-05:00

So as I post this blog, Hunter is sleeping next to me. I just love to watch him sleep, he is so peaceful and sweet and QUIET. For those of you who know Hunter know that he is none of those thing while awake, so when it comes to bedtime I cherish it, not because I get some time to myself but because I get to enjoy watching him. He is constantly on the go, thinking about things when he is a wake so for him to be still long enough for me to enjoy him as my "baby" even though he is 4 now. I am sad that he has grown so fast, it again doesn't help that he doesn't sit still for more than 30 seconds at a time. I so miss the infant stages in his life, the time when he was all mine and I didn't have to share him with the world. When I was home alone with him all day and I could just snuggle him. I guess I am feeling a bit sad about him growing up because I know he is my last baby, I tell my friends enjoy each and every second with your babies because the time goes by so quickly even though you don't realize it. I love the way he cuddles up with his blanket and how he will twitch his little fingers while he is dreaming, but my favorite thing is when I am laying down next to him sometimes and he reaches over and snuggles next to me and says "I love you mama", and gives me a kiss on the nose and then the butterfly kisses on the cheek ahh I just love that! It makes everything else melt away, I tend to forget all the other terrible things going on and just live for that moment.

I mention those things because last week we went to his 4 year check up and found out he is anemic and is not allowed to have ANY milk at all. This has been a very tough 4 days for us because the boy LOVES milk. He will drink it all day long, he loves it so much. Don't get me wrong he will eat food also but his drink of choice is milk, he isn't into juice so much. He will trade out milk for water through out the day so when the dr. told him "Hunter, you may not have any milk until you are healthy again." his reply was "Ugh I don't like you and I will have my milk". I am not kidding that was his response. She then came back and said " I understand you don't like what I said but if you want to get healthy you may not have any more milk." He said " I don't think so, I like milk, and I will drink my milk." so she came back and said "OK lets make a deal, you can have 8 ounces of milk each day but that is all you may have and if you drink that milk then you have to have more juice, not water but juice." He came back with " Ugh I don't like juice. I like water." The dr. looked at me and said " I can't believe I am negotiating with a 4 year old." I said "welcome to my world." Needless to say Hunter gets 8 ounces of milk and his water as well as 2 glasses of juice, that was the deal that they worked out. Crazy how a 4 year old can negotiate a deal. He has stuck with the deal although it has been very difficult to say the least because he still wants his milk. I can only wonder what he is going to be when he grows up... I just love him so much!!!

Happy Birthday Thomas

2008-12-27T20:26:00.004-05:00

So today is my big brothers birthday, and he is in sunny southern California spending the day doing what he loves best, reading! Yes we both LOVE to read- I wish I was there with him to help celebrate his 37th Birthday but unfortunately I am not- I called him while he was at lunch at one of his favorite places to eat, Red Robin, he just loves their fries- Anyway I just wanted to take a few minutes to wish my AMAZING brother a WONDERFUL birthday and let him know that I love and miss him much! Thomas you are the best brother a girl could ask for, thank you for all that you do and all that you are, you are such a fine example and I look up to you and admire you! I love you!!! Happy Birthday!!!

12th Day of Christmas..

2008-12-26T07:59:00.003-05:00

So on the 12th day of Christmas my Elves came really early, in fact they were so early that day I wasn't even awake yet. I did not get to leave my Thank You note like I had planned which really bummed me out but I knew that all the elves knew about my Thank You email to one of the Elves so that makes me feel a little better. So what did they leave me as my final gift that day, well they left me a Calendar of our Savior what a fitting final gift I think considering that is what the holiday is all about. I love the prints for each of the months, they are so beautiful. Not only will the Calendar remind me of our Savior each and every day of the year but it will also remind me of my Secret Elves and the fun the past 12 days have been. Thank you so much Secret Elves!!!

11th Day of Christmas....

2008-12-23T21:56:00.004-05:00

Tonight I received Amish Friendship Bread and some homemade apple butter, it was yummy. No I didn't eat it all but I had a slice as well as the rest of the family. I don't know how to make apple butter but I really want to learn how. I know I know, I love to cook and bake but I don't know how to make apple butter. So again Thank you Secret Elves for another yummy treat and raised my spirits tonight!! Merry Christmas Secret Elves!

On another note my friend Christine, her husband Decker and their beautiful little girl Laralyn brought by a yummy treat as well. It is peppermint tree bark. White chocolate with candy cane mixed in it. Oh soooo very Yummy!! Thank you Smith Family, we love that treat as well tonight, I wish we were home when you stopped by. Have a wonderful Christmas!! We love you and are thankful for your friendship as well!!

10th day of Christmas...

2008-12-22T21:22:00.003-05:00

Tonight they left some yummy treats. They left some cheese and crackers with two very adorable cheese spreaders. On one of the spreaders the handle is a Christmas tree and the other is a stack of Christmas presents. They told me I could eat it all myself or I could share with kin and friends. Of course I will share with whoever would like some, I am sure Elder Regnier will love to sample some of it since he has made my house his home away from home, he can tell you where everything is in the kitchen. But I LOVE that. That makes me feel as though I have done my job well at making people feel like they are at home. I hate it when people feel the need to ask for a glass of water or something to eat because to me that just means they don't feel comfortable or welcome in my home.

I will hate to put the spreaders up with the seasonal things once Christmas is over but I know that next year and the years to come when they are pulled out at Christmas time I will always remember this special Christmas. Thank you Secret Elves!!!

On the 9th day of Christmas my Elves gave to me...

2008-12-21T23:28:00.002-05:00

An awesome new quilted handbag! It is a black and white pattern with a purple trim, I can't wait to use it!! I swear I have been so spoiled by these Elves... Thank you so much Secret Elves!! You seem to know me very well, and I promise I am not trying to find out who you are and I hope I don't even when the 12 days are over but just know I am truly thankful for all the time and effort and thought that you all have put into this for me, it means more to me than I can ever express and if you know Christine Smith I am sure she can tell you just how much.. So from the very bottom of my heart Thank you and I hope you have a wonderful Christmas yourselves and are able to spend it with your families and friends and feel the love of the spirit!!

I did get to thank them though the other night through an email. After the 7th night when things were a close call I received and email and I replied back thanking them, but I also learned that there are more than one set of Elves in that email so I wasn't able to thank all of them so I hope the one set passed on my thanks to the other set. I am going to leave a thank you note on the last day just in case they do not know about my blog or have been unable to read it.

8th day....

2008-12-20T23:57:00.004-05:00

So on this 8th day of Christmas my elves brought to me two very special photo ornaments. Although I will say it scared Sierra a bit considering the photos were one of her and the other my all time favorite photo of Hunter that I took when he was only a few months old. The one of Sierra was taken by my friend LaCrisha on the day Sierra tested for her Black Belt back in May and I know I didn't give either of those photos to anyone so needless to say it has scared Sierra but I did explain to her that I have them posted on two sites so that family and friends could see them. She also said she has them posted on her sites as well so she felt much better knowing that. I will always treasure those ornaments! The one of Hunter is on the "Joy" ornament and his photo is the letter O and the one of Sierra is difficult to explain, so what I am going to do is when all is said and done, take a photo of all the gifts my elves have left me so that you can all see how wonderful they are!! Thank you elves this 8th night you have brought a tear to my eye... Have a Merry Christmas!!

7th day and the Elves gave to US...

2008-12-19T21:46:00.002-05:00

On this 7th day of Christmas my elves gave to not just me but to my family as well, but before I tell you what they brought I must tell you what happened. JB and I decided to go out tonight and finish up the Christmas shopping for the kids. Not a big deal right, WRONG!! As we were leaving the house through the side door, my elves were at the front door dropping off the gifts, I did not see them because JB noticed them and blocked my view, I don't know if he knows who they are because he turned his back. So my elves showed up earlier than they have in the past. It was a little after 7 when they arrived, it was a good thing we didn't use the front door tonight. So all I can say was WHEW that was a close one.

Now what did they bring you are wondering well, for Hunter they brought a BIG truck, his favorite kind of toy in the whole wide world! He loves that truck! For Sierra it was a snowman hot coco cup with Mary Kay cleanser, I don't know how they knew she uses that, they are some very smart elves and for JB, his favorite candy, Twizzlers and a Coke Zero, I guess they knew he has a sweet tooth, and for me, some very warm gloves and Mary Kay Satin Hands Lotion. Thank You Elves, that was so thoughtful of you to think of my family as well. This has been so much fun and I can't wait until I can do this for somebody next year!! You have inspired me. You are amazing elves and I wish you happiness and love this holiday season!!

6th day of Christmas...

2008-12-18T16:34:00.004-05:00

My Secret Elves had my 6th gift delivered by a member of the church, and the member made it very clear it wasn't from him but he was delivering it for somebody else because they didn't want to get caught. The card made me sad this time because they are mistaken my daughters curiosity for mine. Last night Sierra answered the door and said "Who are they?" She answered the door very quickly after the door bell rang and Elder Regnier then opened the kitchen door and was looking for the elves while I was doing the dishes. I promise I am not trying to figure out who they are, I have been enjoying the evening surprises but today I was just sad to think that my wonderful elves are thinking I am trying to figure this all out. Tuesday night JB was out to dinner with his company and I stayed up waiting for him to get home but I had all but the living room drapes closed and those were only open part way, just enough to see the Christmas tree from the street. I decided I couldn't stay awake any longer and went upstairs, in the time it took me to get upstairs and put Hunter to bed,the elves had left the gift. Sammy went rushing down stairs barking like crazy and I looked out the window because I didn't hear anything so a few minutes later I went back down the stairs and looked outside and there was my gift. I really don't want to know who my Secret Elves are, because I think it will take away all the fun. So if you are reading this please know I don't want to know who you are honestly. Thank you for the beautiful candle holder and chocolate almonds... I will think of you each and every time I light the candle. Thank you again!!

On the 5th day of Christmas my Secret Elves gave to me...

2008-12-18T12:13:00.002-05:00

Not 5 golden rings, some things I can use anyway I choose. Those are their words... I received a very cute bracelet, book mark, candle that smells way yummy a mask to block out the light at night and a magnet with the sweetest saying. The magnet is on the fridge as my daily reminder that I have such wonderful elves this holiday season (not that I need a daily reminder) but it puts a smile on my face every time I look at it. Thank you Secret Elves!!

Last night the youth at church stopped by and sang Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer. It was cute, they are such a great group of kids and I am looking forward to getting to know the young women at church through my calling. They also left me with a big gift basket as well, lots of yummy chocolate, and nuts and fruit as well as some hot coco. I shared some of it with the Missionaries since they were here for dinner. I have learned that Elder Regnier LOVES chocolate more than I do. Anyway this is getting of topic but it was a wonderful night shared with family and friends I really do enjoy this time of year!! I hope you all enjoy your Holiday Season as well.

4th Day of Christmas and my Secret Elves gave to me....

2008-12-16T21:39:00.003-05:00

Mary Kay Harmony lotion and Sugar Scrub.... I feel so special!! Thank you my secret elves. They smell so yummy you could eat them. I used the lotion on my hands just before doing this entry and my hands are so soft! I am not sure what I have done to get so lucky to have these "little"elves bring such wonderful gifts but I appreciate them very much! I love how my elf or elves is so creative with the cards, I will be doing an entry just on the cards I have received so far, I think I will do that one in the morning. Well I am off to dream land, it has been a long day with the kids and I am beat. I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday season and is able to enjoy time with their friends and family. Thank you elves!

Dinner with the Johns and my Secret Elves

2008-12-15T21:12:00.003-05:00

So tonight we were invited over to the Johns for dinner, I must say it was delicious! Katie made spaghetti and meatballs that were wonderful. It was nice to get to know her husband Chris and spend time with the missionaries as well and the stories that were shared were hilarious. Katie and Chris are from Alaska and Elder Wilson lived there for a little while also. So there were many stories about moose. I must send her a thank you note for such a wonderful evening.

While we were there my Secret Elves struck again this time it had nothing to do with the kitchen, it was all about pampering me. Talk about feeling special, I don't know who they are but they know how to pamper somebody. My gifts tonight were a bath pillow, Mary Kay Harmony Body wash and a bath puff. I am looking forward to using those soon! The card that was attached to the gift bag was very creative. I will have to do a post just about the cards themselves. I just can't believe I am lucky enough to have such wonderful elves!! Thank you elves for what you are doing!! I will remember this for years to come and next year I believe I will be someones secret elf for the 12 days of Christmas. What fun it must be to brighten somebody's day like you have mine! And for those who know me YES this had made it into my journal.

Secret Elves Strike Again

2008-12-14T21:45:00.006-05:00

So once again my sneaky secret elves stuck again. This time they struck while I was at dinner with Sierra at the Arnold's. When we arrived home there was a package on my kitchen counter with two hot pads that match the cute hand towels I received last night. Also in the package was a Christmas ornament, a white snow flake, with a very sweet saying on it. I still have no clue as to who my elves are but they sure do know how to make me feel special and they seem to know that I love to be in my kitchen. So once again I would like to Thank my elves for the wonderful gifts that put a smile on my face and make me feel special!! I wish I knew who they were so that I can really thank them and send them a thank you note, so once again if anyone on here knows who they are or if they are one of you, THANK YOU!!!

Secret Elves...

2008-12-14T00:06:00.004-05:00

I don't know who you are but THANK YOU! It was such a surprise to come home tonight with a little gift on my front door steps- The note card was very creative and I just love the hand towels that were inside the cute gift bag- I don't know who to say thank you to but just in case it is any of my blog followers or a blogger Thank you! It really brightened my day and put a big smile on my face! I honestly do not know who they are from, Sierra called me while I was out to dinner tonight and asked if we were locked out and if we were ringing the door bell, I told her "no it wasn't us, we are still at dinner" she said oh, well I am not answering the door then, I told her that was fine, not a bad idea and that we would be home in a little bit- Well I noticed as I was walking to the side door something on the front door steps so I checked to see what it was, thinking it was a note or something from the missionaries, since they received their transfer calls tonight, but I was pleasantly surprised to find that cute little gift bag- I am not use to getting things in secret, but I must admit it felt nice to be remembered and I feel special knowing that somebody cared enough about me to leave a gift for me- Again THANK YOU secret elves!!!!

The best daughter ever!

2008-12-10T07:59:00.004-05:00

I love my daughter- She left me the sweetest comment on my myspace page this morning- I told you she has a heart of gold- This is what I read when I opened my page:

"hey mommy! I love you soo much and im glad to call you MY mom! im sorry that I always yell or talk back to you i really do, its just sometimes i just get soo mad-again sorry :) thanks for always putting a smile on my face when i need it the most! and i love how you give me hugs just before i cry!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, DONT FORGET THAT!! love you always"

The funny thing about it that she really doesn't talk back that often, like she said only when she is really mad and the really funny thing is she hasn't done that in such a long time- so this wasn't even a "I am sorry Mom note for messing up " it was just a totally random note from her- I just love her to death! She always knows how to put a smile on my face and reassures me that I am doing something right as a parent- I am so blessed-

Once again she amazes me

2008-12-09T11:58:00.004-05:00

So for those of you who don't know my daughter, she is dyslexic- She started reading the Twilight series two weeks ago and has finished 3 of the 4 books! I am so proud of her- She doesn't like to read long books because it takes her so long to finish them and usually stops before she completes them- But since she watched the movie first and then started the series it has really kept her driven to finish the series- She has spent many nights staying up late reading, umm like until 2 am the other night to accomplish her goal but I can't seem to tell her no when she is trying so hard- It is difficult for me to understand what it is like living life when the letters and numbers are all mixed up- I have such a love for books that I don't know what I would do if I couldn't read like everyone else, I read one book in the series in 4 and a half hours, it took Sierra 5 days to do that- I do not fault her that it took her 5 days nope I praise her that she finished the book and didn't give up on it! I love her so much she is such an amazing girl opps my mistake, she is an amazing young woman! She has a heart of gold also, she is such a people pleaser and I just know that she will accomplish great things in her life because she doesn't let life get in her way-

Hunter

2008-12-05T11:03:00.003-05:00

I can't believe in just four days my little boy will be 4!! I asked him what he would like for his birthday and he said "Mama, the only thing I want for my birthday is a motorcycle cake and balloons" I asked him, "are you sure you don't want a new toy or maybe a movie or book" his reply was "No Mama, just a cake and balloons, I don't want anything else" So he will get his cake and balloons but I can't allow a birthday to pass without a gift, it may be something small since he really doesn't want anything- I never have a birthday party for him because he doesn't like them, he doesn't like to attend them- So I usually just have my parents over for dinner and cake and he is happy as pie with that- But I am so sad that my little guy is growing up! I am excited to see what kind of person he will become in the future but I sure do miss the baby stages, you know where they sleep for hours on end and you can cuddle them in your arms and just the smell of a clean baby after a bath, ahh just heavenly- My little guy isn't so little to be honest, he is a big kid, always has been- he is already over 50 pounds, tall and looks older than what he is- His doctor told me when he was 2 that he is on track to be 6'4 and 230 when he is 18- I love my blue eyed blonde hair little guy with all my heart and am so thankful for him even though he does drive me nuts each and every day but I wouldn't have it any other way to be honest! He makes me laugh one minute then the next he drives me mad! Boys are so different than girls- I wonder what this next year will bring, I wonder what new things he will teach me- I love you Hunter Michael!!

Helping others

2008-12-01T10:15:00.008-05:00

As I drove home from my parents house yesterday I noticed an elderly man on the side of the interstate and he was all alone trying to figure something out with his truck- I am not one who would normally stop while I had my children with me but I couldn't just ignore the feeling I had to help this man- Before I got out of my car I dialed *hp and told Sierra that if she noticed anything suspicious to just push the green button- When I got out I asked the man if there was anything I could do to help him, he asked if I had a phone he could use to call for help because he couldn't get his motorized scooter back on the lift because the lift had broken while he was driving home- I went and called the *hp and told them what was going on and that the gentleman was disabled and needed help- I told the officer that his lift was broken and he needed help putting the scooter in the back of his truck, they sent help right away, I stayed with the gentleman until they arrived and helped the trooper put it in the back of the truck and then began to get back in my car- The trooper called after me, I stopped and asked if there was anything wrong he said "No ma'am, I just wanted to thank you for what you did for that man" I told him it was nothing and that I was glad I was able to help- He then smiled and said not many people stop and help others these days, I had to agree with him because as I waited for the Trooper to show up I noticed not one car stopped or slowed down or even acknowledged us on the side of the interstate, really sad if you ask me- I may not stop every time I see a stranded motorist but I do call *hp and let them know- I hope people will take time to stop and help others when they are in need -

Twilight Series

2008-11-30T07:32:00.005-05:00

So this week I have read 4 books - I have finished the Twilight series and I read The Appeal by John Grisham- I read Twilight last week because a friend recommended the series to me- I will say that it took me 12 chapters to get into the book- It was an alright read for me, I must admit to those of you who do not know me that my favorite books to read are either history or crime, I love anything to do crime fiction or non so it is very difficult for me to wrap my little brain around things that are so far fetched in my opinion- I will say that I absolutely loved and hated New Moon, I hated how Edward broke Bellas heart but I loved how it was a great read, I actually got lost in the story and was excited to read Eclipse and was thrilled with that book but I have to say Breaking Dawn was a let down, I was bored with it, it was too predictable, I figured the ending out before I was even half way done with it- It had so much potential but it did absolutely nothing for me- I know those of you who are huge fans of the series must think I am crazy- Bella had such a dull personality, it drove me nuts, Alice was by far my favorite character in the series, she had real spunk and made you believe everything, Jacob was my next favorite you could just feel the emotions he was having, Emmett he was just funny, still not to sure what to think of Jasper, Rosalie, I just felt sad for her- All and all it wasn't a bad series to read- 2 out of the 4 books were excellent ~

She did it!

2008-11-15T20:53:00.005-05:00

Well today Sierra Nicole received her Black Belt in Tae Kwon Do! I am so very proud of her - I know I have said it a million times but it is true! The girl is such an inspiration- There were a lot of people there to watch her receive her belt this afternoon and I promised I wouldn't cry "that much" and I was good I only cried when she actually tied her belt around her waist and when she raised her hand and took the black belt oath - I am bummed that my camera didn't work and that I don't have photos of the the actual event but I will take photos this week of her in her uniform with her new belt and post them so you all can see - I received a bouquet of flowers as a thank you for helping her achieve her goals - On a sad note she has decided not to continue on for her 2nd degree at this time, she wants to try other sports and Tae Kwon Do takes up a lot of her time and at least 6 months of every year is dedicated to strictly training for black belt so she is going to take some time off and go back to it later on - I really hope she does go back because she has such a natural talent for it and is so beautiful to watch - I love watching her kick, so graceful! Anyway I just wanted to share with you all her accomplishment- I Love you Sierra, and am so so proud of you!

Talk on Baptism

2008-11-08T23:03:00.002-05:00

So tonight I gave a talk on Baptism for Sister Sabatino- I had never given a talk in church before so once again I was a "bit" nervous- I wanted to share with her my conversion story and let her know what an amazing step she is taking in her life- I shared with her Alma 7:14-16 and 2Nephi 31:10-13, those are two of my favorite scriptures, they remind me of the promises that are made to us if we keep the covenant's we make- I remember the day I was baptized, the feelings I had, I shared with her about how I was feeling lost and alone before I was immersed in the water and that the minute I came out of the water those feelings were gone, and a sense of peace came over me- I hope that she will remember today and the feelings she has had, I asked her to write them in a journal so that she can reflect on them- I am not sure if she will or not but I know that Heavenly Father is so very proud of her for taking this step and she will blessed as well as her family for the choice she has made- I am thankful for this week as I have overcome some of my fears- I am thankful that I was able to give the talk tonight, yes it has made it into my journal tonight, I will always remember this day and what it has meant to me-

President Obama sigh

2008-11-05T16:11:00.004-05:00

So today is a new chapter - I am very disappointed in the outcome of the elections-I spent many hours at Raleigh's Republican Headquarters making calls in McCain's behalf and really believe he was the right choice for America at this time- I believe he would have been elected if he had picked Mitt Romney as his Vice President but he didn't so we now have Obama- I will do what McCain has asked of each of us and support this new President elect- I hope that Obama is able to prove us Republicans that voted for McCain wrong, I hope he is able to take our country in a new direction- I hope he brings about the right kind of change - I look forward to November 6, 2012 when we will have the chance to elect a new President, until then Obama has 4 years to "prove" himself worthy of the title of President of the United States of America!

Until we meet again

2008-11-04T21:56:00.004-05:00

Well today was one of the most emotional days in my life - I knew this day was coming but I wasn't prepared for it at all - Adam is now serving in New Bern, NC - It is about 120 miles south east from Cary - He arrived at my house this morning at 10:30 and we left shortly after 11:00 to head to the Raleigh Stake Center so he could meet his new companion and head off to his new area - I was good, I didn't cry while we were at the house or when we took photos and I didn't even cry when we were sitting next to one another in the chapel, but I totally lost it when we were standing outside in the rain saying our farewells to one another, neither one said "goodbye" we both said "until we meet again" but even that didn't make me cry, what made us both cry was when he said " the heck with the rules, come here so I can give you a hug " - When he hugged me it all sank in that my friend and sense of security was leaving and I wouldn't be having breakfast, lunch or dinners with him any more, I wouldn't be sitting next to him at church again, he isn't going to be the one to reassure me when I start to second guess myself, he wouldn't be the one answering my questions anymore, I won't see his smiling face again for a very long time and that makes me very sad - You see he isn't just a missionary to me, he is my friend, there is a connection between us that words can not possibly begin to explain- I will have to adjust to the new change and the void that is now there - I know that we will see one another again in the future, but I just wish it didn't have to be that way, I wish he was still here and that tomorrow when I see the missionaries for dinner he will be sitting across the table telling stories about back home - I know I should look at this in a more positive way and I will once I get over the sadness, I just need a day or two to reflect and then I will be back to my normal self trying to get to know the new missionary- so Adam, until we meet again, I miss you and keep on keepin on ~

Black Belt

2008-11-03T10:09:00.008-05:00

Sierra Nicole will be receiving her Black Belt in Tae Kwon Do on November 15th at 12:30 - I am so proud of her! She worked so hard for 2 years straight- six months before testing she went 7 days a week sometimes several times a day so that she would be perfect for testing- the BB testing lasted almost 4 hours and she did awesome! her overall score was a 93% out of 100 so I would definitely say all her hard work paid off for her - While training for BB testing she was on the demo team and managed to go to practice, do school work and maintain her grades at school - I can't wait to see her tie her new belt around that teeny tiny waste of hers, on November 15th, I know I will shed many tears that day, I spent countless hours watching her perfect her kicks, punches and self defense - I saw the tears she shed when she tried over and over again to learn a new kick that was difficult for her, she has learned that she is a strong girl who can do anything once she sets her mind to it, I feel that through TKD that she has been given a few tools to accomplish great things in life, she has determination, self control, respect, and a positive attitude, those are just a few things that she can take with her in the future where ever the road may take her- I will always look back on the time we spent together and smile, not one second wasted- I learned more about her in the past two years than I did in the first 12 years of her life -

Adam

2008-11-02T19:16:00.007-05:00

Adam is a missionary from Utah- He has been in my area for 4 months now and is about to move onto a new area- In the short time he has been here he has taught me so much, he has helped me realize that I am worthy to enter the Temple, that I can live without caffeine in my life and that no matter what life is good- I knew from the first time I met him that we would be life long friends and that no matter where we go in life we will always be there for one another- I am so grateful that he was able to go with me to the Temple for my endowment, it was such a special day and I couldn't imagine going without him, because of him I over came my insecurities and really believed I was worthy- He taught me that just because I am a convert to the church and don't know every scripture that it was ok to enter the Temple because I was living my life the right way- I was always felt that because I didn't know the scriptures like the people raised in the church that I wasn't ready to enter the Temple, but he said it didn't matter because he was raised in the church and still didn't know everything about the scriptures, that it is a life long journey to learn them and understand them and not to let that get in the way of me entering the Temple and receiving the many blessings that would come to me by doing so- I will miss our long talks about life, his family, my family, just casual conversation that seemed to come so easily- For those who know me know that conversation isn't so easy for me, I am very guarded but with him no walls just a sense of peace and happiness- He has such an amazing spirit about him, I will miss hearing about his bow hunting experiences, the stories about home and the light in his eyes when he talks about his Mom-I will miss his laughter everyday, his analogies when he is trying to explain something to me that I just don't understand, but what I will miss most is the way he always made me feel like everything was going to be alright while he was around me- I will not say goodbye to him on Tuesday I don't believe in goodbyes I will say until we meet again~ I will always have a special place in my heart for him and he knows that, I will always be grateful to Heavenly Father for sending him here to us- I know that when he leaves on Tuesday his new area will be receiving a person who has a lot to offer, an amazing spirit and I hope that the people will have an open heart and see what a great missionary he is! I know we will send emails and stay in contact so that is why I will not say goodbye, it will be until next time my friend~

Overcoming a fear

2008-11-02T19:00:00.008-05:00

So today while at church I had to overcome a HUGE fear of mine, I had to say the closing prayer! I am terrified to get up in front of people and speak- When I received a call last week from the Stake Center I felt that I could not turn down the request so I said "yes sure I would be more than happy to do that", but deep down I was terrified I wanted to hang up the phone and pretend the conversation never took place - So when I arrived at church this afternoon I instantly started to cry because I saw how many people were really there and the fear just overwhelmed me - Sierra, my daughter was so sweet, she just kept telling me "Mom it will be fine, no worries you have so many friends here to support you and plus Bigelow and Regnier are here so all is good" - We sat down towards the back of the church, as we waited for services to begin the other missionaries started sitting by us so I began to feel more at ease, that is until every 15 minutes they would tell me how much time I had left - While President Maxwell was giving a talk Elder Bigelow passed me a note with scriptures to look up, so I used his scriptures and began to read what he had suggested and I felt such a sense of peace come over me - He then told me I would be fine and not to worry about anything because if I listen to the spirit and not focus on my fear then everything will be perfect- So I asked Elder Regnier to walk with me in the halls towards the front of the chapel and while walking I just kept wondering what I was going to say because the minute I left Bigelow my sense of peace vanished, he has become kind of like my security blanket the past few months, always there for me even when I didn't think I needed him- anyway so I as Regnier and I were walking he kept telling me not to worry - so when we got to the door that led to the front of the chapel the choir was still singing so we continued to talk and he just kept reassuring me that all would be fine, the choir stopped and I froze, I couldn't move, he held the door open for me and I saw President Maxwell and he gave me a nod and wink so I walked in, didn't look at anyone in the congregation looked down, closed my eyes and said the prayer, I couldn't tell you what I said because I can't remember it but from what everyone said after church it was perfect- All I can say is that I hope they never ask me to do that again! Sierra said after I gave the prayer Bigelow smiled and said perfect-

Just venting...

2008-11-01T22:16:00.012-04:00

So tonight I went to see Sarah Palin in Raleigh, it was awesome!! I will admit when I first heard McCain announcer her as his Vice President nomination I was not at all happy about it- I really wanted Mitt Romney to be the the VP because of his background in economics but such as it was I gave Palin a chance and I really think that she would do a fine job as next in line to the President!

I will be honest with you, Obama scares the heck out of me, I mean if you want a real smooth talker than he is your man but me personally I don't want a man like that in the White House - I don't want a socialist! I think that this is the land of opportunity and I am tired of people being lazy and expecting a free handout because they are too damn lazy to get off their butts to get a job and be active citizens in their community - Now don't get me wrong I have nothing against those who are just down and out and are struggling and need the assistance because I believe we should help those who are at least trying to help themselves - I do not like the idea of "spreading the wealth" Nope not at all, I work hard for what I earn and I don't want to give more to the government so that they can give it to those who don't! I don't mind working hard to give my children opportunities in life but I do mind working hard just to give it to Obama so he can give it to those who chose not to -

Another thing that I am annoyed with is all the negative ads on both sides - I see no need for them! I don't think it helps either party when it comes down to it and for those who believe the ads I am sorry - Neither side tells the whole truth - I am looking forward to November 5th when I will no longer have to hear or see another negative ad!

Finally I am very thankful that I live in a country where I can say what I want to say and vote for who I want to vote for, it is because of all the wonderful service men and women who fought for this country, our freedom ~ I have nothing but respect for them,I will always be grateful to them, Thank you!!

10 Things

2008-10-31T22:58:00.007-04:00

10 Things about me ~

I LOVE sports!
Cooking is my way of relaxing, call me crazy I know
I love the smell right after it rains, makes me think of my childhood
I write in 3 journals daily,( 1 for me, 1 for my daughter and 1 for my son) and I haven't missed a day in any of them
I am terrified to fly
Camping is one of my all time favorite things to do (next to going to a cubbies, duke or hurricane game)
My favorite flowers are the gardenia and sunflower
I read at least 2 books a week
I am shy
Love road trips, especially in the fall when I head to Vermont, heavenly!!